The art of networking conversations

By Mimi Lee, Founder & CEO, Meiava

For those who may be anxious about networking events, the good news is that others feel the same. When you realize that most people that you will meet do not expect extensive conversations, since you are just getting acquainted or reconnecting, then it can be a real stress relief. However, depending on the networking situation - for example an event that is longer in duration like a sit-down affair – you may need to be ready for more conversations.

I remember one occasion when I was not quite prepared for the rigor of the conversations. Imagine a business dinner event in the depths of a rustic wine cellar of a downtown NoHo restaurant in New York. That evening I was to meet about 30 international C-level executives, entrepreneurs, and academia for the first time. At my table were an eclectic mix of CEOs of industrials, financial institutions, and tech, a consultant, academia, and a recent graduate. The span of topics being discussed ranged from digital disruption, advanced materials, autonomous vehicles, business models, sustainable buildings and cities, politics, travel, sailing and food. Needless to say, it was a delightful experience with very engaging conversations – one where I cannot even remember the food we enjoyed.

When asked by two academics for my opinion about the future of an industry which was over 170+ years old and their hypothesis that the business model would be disrupted to the extent the industry may even be erased, I remember gasping with some anxiousness not anticipating such a deep dive topic so early. Fortunately, my high school debating experience kicked in and I proceeded to give my opinion that it would adapt and supported my statement with examples of this over the recent years and how the industry is even more profitable.

Then I dared to notion how academia as an industry is being disrupted and even slower to respond. This of course lit up the delight of the two academia to debate the topic – which I realized in the end was what they both enjoyed – the jousting of theory and sharing of knowledge. I was happy to then participate more as a listener as they maneuvered into other industries and jumped in at times to ask questions to soak up their perspectives.

Lessons learned about networking

What I was reminded from the experience in terms of networking is that you need to:

1. Be ready to engage. Be ready for discussions to offer a voice or opinion on a topic. People like to understand your position on things and in some circles, may throw out a topic to facilitate conversations. There is no right or wrong perspective, and a “no clear position on the issue” is fine too.

2. Be curious. When the discussion is around a topic that you may not be well versed on or do not know anything about, just say so! Express interest to be more informed on the topic. Listen and learn. Use the opportunity to ask questions – why is that so and how could that be questions. Also use the topic as a potential reason to follow up to learn more – if you have a genuine interest to reconnect and expand your knowledge of the topic.

3. Be up to date. Having a broader awareness of what’s happening in global, regional, and local current affairs and industry, social, and sports topics will always be helpful. Read widely and tune into media that interests you.

4. Be a contributor. Find one or two topics that you are knowledgeable on to contribute to the discussion when the situation and audience fits. Don’t just share your knowledge – people do not want a long dissertation. It is important to engage others in the conversation by simply asking what their view is or if they have experienced it, have additional insight or information.

Conversation starters

Participating in networking events is an opportunity to learn about others. Afterall, networking is about building connections through communication and sharing information. Like everything, it takes preparation and practice.

Be authentic and find conversation starters and topics that work for you. Have a topic or story to share to start a conversation. Yes, this may be considered “small talk”, but it helps to warm up the conversation and does not burden others to “talk shop” / business all the time.

Here are 3 conversation starter ideas:

1. Break the ice

Comment on the long line for the barista coffee
Talk about the weather or traffic to get there
Ask if you can join them
Share something that happened, or you saw on the way to the event

2. Bridge a connection

How do you know each other?
What brings you to this event?
Which speaker/ session was most relevant or insightful to you?
I’ve met a diverse range of people today, what’s your involvement with this event?

3. Uncover something about who you are meeting with

How did you find your way to be a (profession/ in this line of business?)
What was the best idea you took away from the last session and how does this relate to you?
What project are you working on right now that excites you?
What topic or trend are you most fascinated about?
How do you spend your time outside of work?
And, if you are looking for different angle, try author and behavioral scientists, Jon Levy’s question – “If we were to become close friends one day, what would be important for me to know about you?”

Some final tips

1. Have talking points ready

What’s your intro? Walk in with one or two ways to introduce yourself. Have a trimmed down version of your elevator introduction that describes what you do. As an example, “Hi I’m Mimi. I am the founder of Meiava, an HR-tech startup that is building a global community and platform to support women’s career and personal growth.”

Things about you. Consider what other things you would share with new acquaintances and what they may want to learn about you.

2. Remember names

Do your best to remember the names of people you meet. There are tried and tested ways such to say, “it’s nice to meet you (repeat their name)” and name association techniques. I like to play a memory card reveal game approach (yes, the game you played as a child) to take a pause to scan the room and test my recall of people’s names and companies or a fact they shared with me. These days also using tools like LinkedIn to connect there and then also automates things.

3. Pay attention

Listen to what you hear when others introduce themselves and be thoughtful to extend the introductions between them and others. It is a great way to show you were listening. “Mark, I would like you to meet Jennifer who is from XYZ company and an up-and-coming novelist.”

4. Be mindful of your questions

At networking events, conversations can easily gravitate to personal life. Just a note of caution to be aware of the questions that you ask others who may not want or feel comfortable sharing their private life. Be thoughtful of the appropriateness of your questions in different countries and with the diversity of people that you meet.

The art of networking conversations is part of a series of articles on networking, which is one of the themes from an earlier article on What would I tell my younger self?

Make your connections matter covers reasons why women may be hesitant to leverage their network, 5 ways that women can support other women, and how employers can also assist.

Unlock the power of your networks talks about how networking can have a positive effect on career, ways to engage and grow your network, and practical tips on how to improve your networking skills.